Sadness Compounding in a Foreign Country

Every time you cry, your tears sinking into the nape of my neck.

Sadness seeping into my skin.

Your grief washes over me.

I try to be strong for you.

I try so but cannot.

I struggle too.

Sadness compounding.

If only I could be more profound.

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Are taller people more sad? No of course they are not. Yet the scale of their physical body language is larger comparative to your's. Maybe architecture has taught me too much about ambience but I have absorbed the energy. I have no immediate reasons to be sad yet I am feeling very sad. I wonder if I should cry with you too? But then that would make two of us, sadness compounding. I only just met you. I do not yet know all your nuances. Neither do you know all of mine. I am second-guessing whether the way I comfort people is the way your want to be comforted? We both hail from opposite corners of this world meeting by chance in this foreign land. Most of the time, I cannot understand you, now amidst the choking and the sadness, all I understand is that you are sad. I want to help but I'm not sure if I am.

But this roof, this very flat cement roof - on which another household operates above us - binds us together. Our happiness, our sorrows, our failures, our victories, our tears and our laughters. Since our paths have all crossed, I want us all to feel at home away from home. 

Since we have trouble understanding each other, I will let actions speak louder than words.

I will try to be more profound through my actions.

Please don't be sad anymore , I am trying.

Trying...also not to cry.

Trying...to help you.

Trying...to help you see the light too.

Office Worker during the Week, Brickie during the Weekends.

I have now been here for 2 months and a bit. I've mainly just been working at the design practice to be honest. And on the weekends I go to Bihu Park (Wende Station) to help my friend Wang Wen-chih, a bamboo artist who built the amphitheatre entry to Woodford in 2013, I interpreted for him at Woodford. He has a project there at the moment in collaboration with the local university. His crew consisting of people from his brotherhood, childhood friends, randoms who drop by asking for a job and volunteers are amazing. One of them, a master at weaving all sorts of insects, fruits baskets and so on has been doing it since childhood. Name anything and he can pretty much make it.

While Taipei is offering a much more busting and diverse scene to Brisbane, admittedly, I've become quite fatigued lately. Since all I've been doing is work on the weekdays and then do physical labour on the weekends, it's quite a toll haha. I've noticed that I really need to balance my life out a bit more. Even though I treat the bamboo project as a hobby (it's very enjoyable!), it will only go on till mid-June and I will need to find something else to occupy my weekends. I don't mind partying but it's not for me any more. My house mate made the comment recently that I need to "party more". But I think I just need to find other things to do. Partying doesn't really interest me any more. While clubbing in different countries (Singapore, Germany, Australia, etc) all provide very different experiences, I just like LEARNING! So I want to spend my time learning rather than drinking the night away. Of course there are also things to learn at clubs, but I much rather enjoy a good conversation over some tea or being hands on with gardening, cooking or craft.

However while I am happy that my current schedule enables me to develop skills for my architecture career both mentally and physically, I am also interested in developing other [cave people] life skills such as: fishing, hunting, foraging and so on! Which reminds me, I should really think about when I'll use up the 50% Off Voucher to Bushlore this year!

Positive...

Right now I need to surround myself with positive people. Positive people doesn't mean you have to be smiling unconditionally and endlessly happy. By positive, I mean a type of energy that enables people to move, to want to solve problems, to learn, to embrace the challenge regardless of what is thrown at them. Please, stop thinking life is over, it's only the start. Sometimes hearing other people's stories, you realise you have it so much better than them. Please, rise from your grief. I had a challenging day at work today (all facets of technical and HR-related matters) but because I embraced it, I came home happy today. And then, not to say you ruined my evening, but right now I am feeling very flat. Very very flat actually... I feel like I'm inside a gloomy dark pit. And it makes it worse that I now feel like an inconsiderate bitch for wanting to help you but needing to avoid you. How can I help you without exhausting myself? Sorry if I can't help you right now, I barely have to energy to help myself half the times these days. Please...

Dragon Boat Festival

Wow, trust me to completely miss the Dragon Boat Festival. But to make up for it, my house mate and I decided to go on a sporadic cycle, after about 5km, we ended up near Longshan Temple, a shadier part of Taipei compared to the city centre precinct we live in. Finally, I get to see a more authentic (less sterile) Taiwan that I remember from childhood!

(insert photos!)

"Falling Back Up Again"

We learn so much every time we fall and sometimes the outcomes of climbing back up again surprise us.

I have always been a big believer in determination, if you haven't fallen, you're not reaching your full potential yet. While I have been working in Taiwan, I have definitely stumbled a few times which cultural differences in work dealings, having supervisors tell me off for crappy work that some else did, etc. But let's just take it all in stride! This video is truly brilliant, and really reinforces my beliefs about not giving up! (Since it's not a Youtube video, I can't embed it in this post, so you'll have to click on it to watch it, sorry about that!). 

http://news.distractify.com/culture/a-runner-fell-in-a-race-but-then-she-got-back-up-and-taught-everyone-a-major-life-lesson/?v=1

Multicultural Debate: Religious Schools

I think for too long Australia has been overly diplomatic about multicultural matters that it stunts our true understanding of each other's culture/s and/or belief/s. From this article alone, it is difficult to assess whether there is a right or wrong; and reading through the comments, while I don't agree with everything, it's good to see there being honest opinions and debate. I definitely think you're onto something here, truly job well done Rhian Deutrom! Thank you! 
http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/queensland/principal-of-redlands-college-mark-bensley-transfers-muslim-student-teachers-after-they-wear-hijab-to-school/story-fnihsrf2-1226930481260

I myself attended a Catholic High School and while my parents are buddhist, they have never forced me into any religion. Having visited Malaysia and Singapore, I've met lots of Muslim friends and while I don't agree with all the teachings, I still think it's interesting to learn about it. I think people mistake "not appreciating a culture" as "racisim". But I think with different cultures, you don't have to appreciate it, you just need to understand it. Understanding is the first step towards reducing ignorant actions in society.

Copping someone else's load.

It's weird. Today I got told off at work regarding the lack of quality in a document that we were supposed to send out to a client. Thing is, I didn't produce that document at all. At first I was annoyed about having to stay back because I had been intending to go home early to nurse my sore throat and building headache. I stayed back and finished the document according to their specifications and just got home at 10pm with two of my fellow colleagues. For some reason, I'm actually really happy now. Despite the accusation, I've unexpectedly learnt more things by picking up after someone else's grunt. I guess if we live with the intention to learn then it doesn't matter how others see us. (Also, on another plus side, I get to do the graphics art for a concert, one of our clients is a prominent Taiwanese rock singer, consider him the Bruce Springsteen of Taiwan!)