I have been working with an Autisitc little girl since the start of the year. I took on this volunteering stint because I had personally experienced what it's like to live with someone who is on the spectrum. As I mentioned in an earlier post, my parents came from a farming background, social and mental problems are not seen as an issue over getting food on the table. As a result, the condition was never addressed and I didn't realise that I didn't have to be treated in a certain way until I had a sudden realisation that the particular person might have Autism or Aspergers - which explains a lot of their behaviour. They don't hate you as such, but they just have a lower tolerance of social situations so they come across as aloof speak curtly as a few examples or how they may be. I apologise at this point that I am very vague about the particular person but since it is not officially diagnosed and also for the person's privacy, I do not want to disclose any details yet. Not sure how to explain this feeling but just perhaps one day things will be easier to talk about.
Negative Ripple Effects - Childhood
I used to come across as quite shy. Ironically, I always loved meeting new people. Now that I think of it, I was never a shy person. But everytime I approached a potential friend, the person would glare at me and tell me not to interact with the person citing that they are "dangerous", don't talk to strangers, etc. As a child, I knew no better so I didn't talk to those people when the person was around; so there were many opportunities for socialisation that I didn't get to have. It's sad to say but I cherished all the moments when that person was not around - I could talk to anyone who I wanted to talk to! But when they came back, I had to pretend I wasn't talking with them and I couldn't be too friendly with their friends either. This was very unhealthy. I'm glad I have "run away" for now. I feel like I can really be myself. This is a temporary solution however, to at least get my sanity and mental well-being in check. I will still need to make amends somehow so volunteering with the little girl might give me some insight into how to solve this life mystery of mine.
Why I think this person has Aspergers/Autism:
- Controlling nature, looses temper very easily.
- Will physically attack back if people accidentally brush up against them (sensitive to textures).
- Droopy eyelid, alert but seemingly tunnel-visioned.
- Always wanted things their way.
- Argumentative nature, will argue to their death, even when they realise they are wrong.
- Curt in manner.
- Has low tolerance for hypocracy or misaligned statement/actions - but will also be hypocrital themselves on occasion.
- Name calling, perhaps to boost their own self confidence.
- Territorial, collects things, has very particular interests, will not share them with other people.
Now that I thnk of it, this person was bullied in primary school, so resorted to burrying themselves in books. They were very smart, very very very book smart. They were very interesting to listen to but if you tried to talk with them about "their" knowledge, I would just get told to shut up or get called names like "stupid idoit" or "imbecile".
( I don't know how to continue on with this post for now - 7th Novemeber, 12:34pm).
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